Stages of Freedom offers this Resource Guide to help you, your friends, family, children & colleagues understand the time we are in and the time we are trying to get to.
If not us, who? If not now, when? - Hillel
Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
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PBS - The Talk: Race in America
A two-hour documentary about the increasingly necessary conversation taking place in homes and communities across the country between parents of color and their children, especially sons, about how to behave if they are ever stopped by the police.
Click Here to Watch
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James Baldwin's "Black Lives Matter" Speech, 1965
Click Here to Watch
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‘No Reader is Too Young to Start’
Anti-Racist Books for Children & Teens
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Let Justice Roll: A Concert Celebrating
Dr. Martin Luther King's "Letter From a Birmingham Jail"
Click Here to Watch
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We Shall Overcome - Bruce Springsteen
Click Here to Listen
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A Specially Curated Reading List by Ray and Robb
"Why We Can't Wait" Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
"The Souls of Black Folk" by W.E.B. DuBois
“Race-Ing Justice, En-Gendering Power : Essays on Anita Hill, Clarence Thomas and the Construction of Social Reality" by Toni Morrison
"Walking with the Wind: Memoir of the Movement by John Lewis
“Chokehold: Policing Black Men” by Paul Butler
“Criminalization of Black Girls” Monique Morris
"White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk about Racism" by Robin DiAngelo
"How to Be an Antiracist" by Ibram X. Kendi
"Biased: Uncovering the Hidden Prejudice That Shapes What We See, Think, and Do" by Jennifer L. Eberhardt
"Raising White Kids" by Jennifer Harvey
"Playing in the Dark: Whiteness and the Literary Imagination" by Toni Morrison
"Different and Wonderful: Raising Black Children in a Race-Conscious Society" by Darlene Hopson
"Everyday Acts Against Racism: Raising Children in a Multiracial World by Maureen Reddy
"Crossing the Color Line" by Maureen Reddy
"Race Matters" by Cornell West
"Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption" by Bryan Stevenson
"The Fire Next Time" by James Baldwin
"Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race" by Reni Eddo-Lodge
"They Can’t Kill Us All: Ferguson, Baltimore, And A New Era In America’s Racial Justice Movement" by Wesley Lowery
"Hood Feminism: Notes From The Women That The Movement Forgot" by Mikki Kendall
"Ain't I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism" by bell hooks
"Open Season: Legalized Genocide of Colored People" by Ben Crump
"From Slavery To Freedom: A History of African Americans" by John Hope Franklin
"The Third Reconstruction: How a Moral Movement Is Overcoming the Politics of Division and Fear" by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove and William Barber II
"Between the World and Me" by Ta-Nehisi Coates
"Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You" by Jason Reynolds and Ibram X. Kendi
“The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness” by Michelle Alexander
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12 Movies on Racism and Protest History
Click Here to View the List
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Talking About Race with Relatives
Since the killing of George Floyd, which set off protests three weeks ago, many families have had tough conversations about race — some with relatives expressing dissimilar perspectives.
Nicki Vleisides and her father, Pondo Vleisides, have long known they held opposing views. Recently, on a five-hour drive for a weekend trip, Mr. Vleisides, a 60-year-old Republican and Trump supporter, told Ms. Vleisides that he thinks the president unites the country better than anyone else. Ms. Vleisides, a 24-year-old Democrat, responded that she considers the president a divisive racist. They then sat in silence for a while.
These kinds of arguments have grown more frequent now that Ms. Vleisides, who had been teaching in France, moved in with her parents in San Clemente, Calif., during the pandemic. Though the discussions sometimes end in yelling, the two say they’re doing their best to have candid conversations with each other.
“These are such emotionally triggering conversations, but the fact is that we’re not going to get anywhere if we’re just pointing fingers at one another,” Ms. Vleisides said.
Nicki Vleisides and her father, Pondo Vleisides, often clash over the protest movement.Credit...Perra Vleisides Beverly Tatum, a psychologist and the author of the books “Can We Talk About Race?” and “Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? And Other Conversations About Race,” says this dialogue is important. “In order to be able to move forward, we have to be able to talk to each other,” she said.
And everybody needs to participate in this work. Dr. Tatum noted that when white people work together to engage with racism in policing and other civil rights issues, it takes some of the emotional burden off communities of color to teach others. “White people educating other white people is necessary and important,” she said.
For those who are engaging in difficult conversations with family members, here are some ways to keep the dialogue as meaningful as possible.
Manage expectations.
It is important to have realistic expectations for those who hold radically different views. Tania Israel, a professor in the department of counseling, clinical and school psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara, says you’re unlikely to change someone’s mind after just one conversation. Dr. Israel, whose coming book “Beyond Your Bubble,” discusses strategies for connecting across the political divide, says that being pragmatic helps us avoid feeling disappointed and frustrated by the lack of radical change after a single dialogue.
Peter Coleman, a professor of psychology and education at Columbia University and the director of the Morton Deutsch International Center for Cooperation and Conflict Resolution, says it’s also necessary to set the ground rules for what types of conversations you want to partake in with loved ones. He explains there is an important distinction between a debate and a dialogue.
“A debate is a closed process of persuading the other that you’re right,” Dr. Coleman said. “A dialogue is a process of discovery, a process of learning.” If the objective is to have a more nuanced understanding of what’s important to the other person, then Dr. Coleman suggests being an engaged listener to open up the conversation.
Updated June 15, 2020
Widespread protests in the aftermath of George Floyd’s killing by a Minnesota police officer have led to reckonings over enduring forms of racial discrimination in almost every sphere of American life. Among the changes so far:
Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo of New York signed an expansive package of bills aimed at combating police misconduct, while the mayor of Boston, Martin J. Walsh, announced the city would transfer $3 million from the Police Department budget to public health programs.
For the first time, the reality television show “The Bachelor” will have a black lead. The show, which kicked off in 2002, has long received criticism for its lack of diversity.
At the end of a week of high-profile executive departures, Audrey Gelman, co-founder of the Wing, an upscale women-only club and co-working space, resigned amid a furor over treatment of black and brown employees.
The country trio Lady Antebellum has changed its name. The band, now known as Lady A, wrote in a letter to fans that its eyes had been “opened wide” to the injustices black people face.
Practice active listening.
Active listening is an important ingredient in any difficult dialogue. Dr. Israel explains that this type of communication involves “listening to understand instead of listening to respond.” She suggests that we repeat family and friends’ responses back to them.
Coming from a place of curiosity can also be helpful during dialogues, she said. This doesn’t mean compromising your own views, but being interested in someone else’s experiences. For example, she suggested a conservative person might initiate a conversation with a more liberal relative by saying, “I saw you post something on Facebook about defunding the police. I’m not sure I agree with that, but I wanted to hear more about what that means to you.”
Take a break if you need one.
Elizabeth McCorvey, a licensed clinical social worker based in Asheville, N.C., who was one of the developers of a curriculum designed to help therapists working with clients of color, says discussions are more productive when participants feel less emotionally charged. She advises taking deep breaths before speaking, and using coping mechanisms while the conversation takes place, such as drinking a glass of water or drawing, which may calm your nervous system and help you handle stress. “The less agitated you are, then the less agitated the other person might be,” she said. If the conversation becomes too emotionally distressing, she suggests taking a break and returning to it later.
Set boundaries.
Grace Aheron, the communications director for Showing Up for Racial Justice, a national network of groups that organize white communities to turn out for anti-racist action, says there are basic principles that should be respected in any conversation about police brutality and protesting.
“That black people’s lives matter is not something that’s up for debate right now,” she said. “There’s a sanctity of human life.” Her organization developed a tool kit to help people engage with specific arguments related to the protests and police violence.
It’s also important to set limits around language. Ms. McCorvey says this may mean telling family members that using certain words in your presence is unacceptable. “Boundaries can be set kindly, politely and with love,” she said. “If you draw a line and someone continues to cross it, it’s reasonable to distance yourself from that person.” Keep conversations off social media.
Conversations over social media aren’t likely to create long-lasting change. In a study that was published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences in 2018, researchers found that being exposed to opposing ideas on Twitter actually increased political polarization. As a result, Dr. Israel says the most productive conversations take place in person or over video or phone calls.
Remember your own evolution.
Dr. Tatum suggests using the “three F strategy” to share how you came to your own understanding. With this tactic, people use statements with the words “felt, found and feel.” For example, if a family member or friend suggests that police brutality isn’t a systematic problem, you might respond by saying that there was a time when you might have felt that way, but then you found out how often these acts of violence happen to black people. Dr. Tatum suggests using language like, “When was the last time we saw a white person being killed by the police in a viral video? I can’t ever remember seeing such a thing. I now feel it’s important for me to educate myself and speak up when I see instances of racism.”
Unlearn racism together.
Inviting others to talk about racism can also lead to opportunities for families to grow and learn together. Ms. McCorvey explains that working with family and friends to unlearn racism can be both a unifying and difficult experience. But she says that “sometimes things have to break to grow back stronger.” For those unfamiliar with the issues driving the protest movement but wanting to learn, Dr. Tatum recommends starting a book club with family and friends, using readings such as “White Fragility” by Robin DiAngelo or “How to Be an Antiracist” by Ibram X. Kendi to start the conversation." -The New York Times
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